I'm solar powered...

I admit it. My family knows it. Our ministry team knows it. I know it. Everyone who knows me also knows that if there is a seat in the sunshine, I'm the girl for that seat. I won't fight over it, but you know my heart will leap for joy to be sitting amidst the rays of joy that illuminate Earth so beautifully... I am solar powered. I need the sun. I don't mean in a vitamin D, good healthy kind of thing (although I know that's important)... I mean it in a "the sun gives life to me" kinda way. Literally. I am a totally different person when I see sunshine or blue sky than I am when it's cloudy and gray. Sorry Annie, the sun will come out tomorrow is NOT a declaration of hope to me... (OH, I just watched that with Kaylee for the first time last week...FUN!) Oops...back to sun...

We've been on the Oregon coast for two days...and the sunshine has been limited at best. Then I look at the current weather back in Keizer and it says sunny. =( I mean I am glad for my friends to have sun...and I'm sooooo glad to be having a great time with my fam on our mini-vacay... but I find myself over and over apologizing that it's not sunny. Steve finally said today, "I think God apologizes for that one, not you..." And then I realized I was apologizing when I should have just been saying I wish it was sunny. And I find that I actually do that a lot. I say sorry the weather isn't like it's supposed to be (then again, when did the weatherman ever truly get it right --- no offense to meteorologists, but the percentages are not usually that great...). I think what I'm doing is apologizing to my innermost being that it won't be getting it's sunshine lifeline today.

Today when we were out crabbing the sun was out!! YEAH!!! (Back in Wheeler it was gray with a break of clouds to show blue sky...) When I was parking the van it hit me... sunshine! It was warm and beautiful!! I was so excited. As I walked up the steps to the pier, something else hit me --- this freezing cold wind that sucked the life out of the sunshine I should have been feeling, and the joy the warmth and sunshine brought. Then it made me realize, sunshine in and of itself is not quite enough... being warmed by the sun is just as important to me. After manning up for about 30 minutes out on that pier we all figured we had enough (actually dad & Kaylee went back about 15 minutes before us...). We get back to the parking lot (where it's WARM)... and after reloading our gear, I sit in the drivers seat and... (no lie) ... lean my seat back about 4 inches and sit back with the sun roof open and just lay there in the van (with everyone else waiting) to just soak in the warmth and sunshine for about 3 minutes. I wanted to trick myself into thinking it was wonderful. (And those few minutes were...) The moments were put to a halt when Noah chimes in from the back seat "what are we doing?" My response: "Mom's just having a wall-e moment" Noah: "Oh. That's enough sun mom. Can we go eat?"

I remember being in a parking lot one cool day and the sun breaking through the clouds and I looked up and tried to pretend that the sounds of the cars going by were really crashing waves... and while everyone else in Kentucky was freaking out about the sun and the warmth, I was embracing the love for it all (I'm glad I had that ... being solar powered I think I stocked some of it up to make it through the last couple of weeks)... my

I make no apologies for being solar powered. I really do try not to grumble too much when the sun isn't out and I know I don't do a great job of it... I think I need to create a name for this condition I have. I confess --- coming from Georgia where I can wear flip flops 11 months out of the year to Oregon where I actually have to wear socks for several months has been a shock to my system. I even have more than one pair of Nikes (the last pair I had before moving to Oregon I had bought about 8 years earlier... I never wore them, so I never wore them out...) I need sunshine.

So... that's why I sit on top of my van at work when it's a sunny day. That's why I long for the sunny seat at the table where we're eating. That's why I make the kids go outside on a sunny day. That's why I stand at windows looking up at the sun for a while. I adore the sun... and the One who made it. I need the sun... and the One who made it.

P.S. Kaylee comes by this same condition honestly...she's just as much of a sun and warm girl as I am... =) Mama is so proud!!!


erik w/a "k" said...


Bex said...

Major ditto. By January every year I'm withing and by February I'm struggling. I NEED the sun.


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