10.27.2009

So...

So...you'd think my first full day home after our middle school fall retreat I'd be just pumped! Tired...but excited for what happened there. Instead - I found myself battling the enemy all day - I know I was fighting with him at the retreat - that's what happens when you call him out - our theme verse was John 10:10 - A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. (yeah, we used the message version - very middle school friendly). Anyway - I was tired today. But I found myself battling all day long the thoughts of not doing things right, not doing things good enough, not saying things I wanted to say or planned to say, that others can do it better...and so on and so on... I always feel like I can do a better job than what I do. I'm not trying to say I don't do some stuff ok, but I can easily beat myself up, sometimes with a reason - sometimes with what I think is no reason at all. I know I've talked before about being one of the most insecure people on the planet - one who always feels incapable, or someone else can do this better, or that I should keep my mouth shut and let other people do it all. Even acknowledging it gives the enemy a way to know my weakness... so I've just spent time watching a video I put together for the retreat... reminding myself of the very truth I was hoping our students would grasp. Who I am in Christ... Because my identity in Him is what I need to be most focused on - not on how I do (or don't do) life...not that I don't strive to be what He wants, because I also know I can so let Him down - so it's that fine balance of acknowledging shortcomings, and not letting the enemy take those and so throw them in my face...

Anyway, I just thought I'd share it with you.

video

So to myself and to you I say --- spend time today reflecting on who you are in Him. The Bible is FULL of descriptions of who we are. It's a breath of fresh air to listen to the King of Kings describe you... (it's soooo much better than the lying whispers of an enemy who is on the ropes)... Be bold. Be strong. Be convinced. Be His...

1 comments:

Poodle said...

Wow - someone else today is battling big time those feelings of self-doubt!! I am pounding into her that those thoughts of worthlessnes, etc. are nothing but lies of Satan - that the truth is that she is so loved by her Lord that he has her engraved on his hands, that He is holding her so tight and will fight for her. Sometimes it helps, but Satan doesn't give up easily. I say the same to you sweet Michelle - don't let Satan mess with you. He is actually scared of you - because of who you belong to. Love you - Patti

 

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