Thanks...

so...it's rare in my world that I get in the blahs - I'm not talking about those inconsequential blahs, the ones I gripe and complain about (like the weather...)...I'm talking about just one of those points where I'm a little down. Yep - that'd be now.

My uncle passed away yesterday. He's soooooooooo much better off. He's been fighting Parkinson's disease for such a long time, and while in those moments I've gotten to spend with him over the last 5 years have been few, I cherished the moments... watching him with my kids - and remembering being at he & Margaret's house in Mississippi on vacations just makes me smile - trips to 7-Eleven for Barq's root beer, driving tractors & go-carts, playing Stryper's version of Battle Hymn of the Republic while he just spent 30 minutes telling me that southern gospel is the only real music out there, calling cousin's code (for a coke of course), running around with my cousin Carol Ann, listening to Styx with Cindy & Lindy in their room, BeBe always having stories... watching Al make computers, hearing stories of his boat trips taking supplies to the people of Haiti... and now...he's with Jesus...and my grandfather, my grandmother, my cousin Lindy, my great-uncle Whimpy (ok, that was his name...deal with it...) my great-aunt Flo...so many others...

Thanks Lord for sharing Al with us all these years... will you get him a cup of coffee - he prefers a clear coffee mug... and give him a hug from me... Thanks... I'm so grateful for heaven....

Come on...you know you've felt the same way...

So...I've started a couple of entries this week, only to get a few sentences in and delete it. Why? Because honestly...there are times when I think/believe - no one is reading this - why does it matter? Who cares about my obviously random thoughts, experiences, beliefs, cares, frustrations...and why on earth would they spend their free time perusing them on the internet when there is so much more to see elsewhere... I don't know that I'm the only insecure dingbat in the blogosphere...but I honestly think I'm not alone.

So...it might take me a little while to put something else up, it might not. I'm putting undo pressure on myself to make it good, read-worthy, amazing, thought-provoking, memorable... Rarely have I sat here and deleted thinking "oh wait - so and so is gonna read this" - I think I'm a fairly open book... but I'm just trying to figure it out...

So...you amazing bloggers out there - the ones who write and share and feel and grasp this blogging thing so well...spur the girl on... I'm stuck.