Time to be careful...

New Years is one of those times that I love...and one of those times, most honestly, that I can sit back and kick myself for a while. Steve & I were talking yesterday or the day before (I've lost track) about "goals" for next year - and when he asked me mine, he just about stopped himself mid-sentence and then said, "you aren't much of a goal person are you?" Honestly - that's true. And I don't know that I ever have been...

I've re-written this post a couple of times trying to figure out what my point is, without knocking myself hard - or crying too much - or expecting too much and... being true to me. I think one of the dangers about new years is that we start to create these phantom images of who we think we need to be. I'm not saying that there may not be things about ourselves that need reflection or change --- but I think there's wisdom in choosing and being happy with who you are and what you are doing, and letting that be ok. Yet - too -- we need to balance that with avoiding the status quo for safety's sake.

2007 was full of change for us. Honestly - there is a part of me that just wants to coast through 2008. I don't want to plan any more change. I don't want to stretch any more. I don't want to give up anything else. And yet - I know that I need to be purposeful - I need to move forward and put forth my best effort. I need to reflect. I need to stretch. I need to give things up. Why is that so hard? Because this year was hard - it was good, but it was hard. And I want an easy year. That's just honest.

Why is it that I don't like to set goals? Hmmmmmm... I don't know. I guess that's something to think about... I'm finding myself on that fine line of journaling and processing vs. just a simple blog --- what's the difference? Is there a difference?

OK...this is going to get really long if I'm not careful. I like those posts that are just a here's what I did today kinda thing - they are easier. Hmmmm...maybe I like the easy way out? I don't know. I'm finding myself stumbling over words and feeling like I'm not making sense. Maybe I just need to read over the Christmas Bell again and remember who I am and who He is...and let the rest just be...(and then I felt peace...and calm, instead of tense...) OK. I'm going to do that now...