Collapses...and hope.

So...here it is late at night on the anniversary of 9/11. I remember where I was, at home playing with Kaylee, when I got a phone call from my mom to turn on the tv. As I turned on the tv the second tower at the World Trade Center was hit. It's one of those surreal "did I just see that happen" moments. Even now as I flip channels on the tv, a station is playing footage from that day - and I'm drawn in. And the anxiety of that day starts to meet me all over again. Six years from it, my heart aches for a friend who lost her brother in one of the towers that day, for those who I know who have been, are in or are going back to Iraq or Afghanistan or other similar area, for those who live under the constant fear of attacks every day...

Today I had another one of those moments. I was out shopping, and one of my kids needed to go to the bathroom. I walk in to find a girl standing in the middle of the bathroom, mouth wide open in shock, holding a pregnancy test in her hand saying, "I can't believe it." She'd just found out she is pregnant. That's not what she expected today. The look on her face was like that of those walking away from the towers on 9/11. Her world was collapsing before her eyes. We talked a little, then, she gathered herself together to head out the door. She said, "I know I can do this." I don't know her name. I don't know how she is doing right now. All I can do is pray for her and the little baby growing inside...

Regardless of the circumstances, the consequences, or many other things, honestly, there are lots of days I don't get. There are lots of times I wish I could see the big picture and all the details. But I don't know it all. Then again, I don't know that I want to either. As I turn the tv off, I can breathe again. I have hope. There's only one I know who wants to steal hope - and I just can't give in to letting him try to take it away from me. he will use whatever means possible to steal hope - to steal joy - to steal life. No, I can't see all the details of the big picture, but I know how the story ends. I love Jesus. I trust Jesus. I need Jesus. I believe in Jesus. And He is all the hope I need.