Just when you think...

I got a GREAT hanging basket for Mother's Day (well, I bought it for myself when Jeanne-Annand I went tothis way cool nursery). It's a Moonglo - never seen it before or heard of it... Of course I didn't take a picture that day - why? I'm not sure - but man - love it!!! Mine has more pink in the bloom that this one, but I love it. It has cascading green leaves and the blooms hang upside down andliterally open up facing the ground...and opens into this beautiful creative surprise! I love it (Oh, I've said that huh...). It also has a desperate need to be watered well. So the morning ritual includes watering the Moonglo... then the strawberries and peppers (ok, occasionally the opposite order). It's so fun to wake up in the morning seeing the new blooms, or drive up after being gone for the day and see how much it's grown in such a short period of time. With the wateringthing, it seems a bit tempermental ... but it's soooo worth it!

As you know, Steve and the kids did Camp Pathetic while I was off in Louisville, KY for LIFE 2010. They had an absolute blast...and I'm so glad they did - crabbing, sand boarding, camping, and more!! Now when we had a dog we would always think through who is going to care for things at home while we are away...now that we don't have a dog...we don't typically think about it. The sprinkler system kicks in automatically, and the backyard is doing well. But OOPS... the Moonglo... when I got home, it was hanging there to greet me but it didn't look as though it weathered my absence well.

So... after about two weeks, I just took it down. I had tried to water it, but

to no avail. It just looked that much more dead. That much more shriveled. That much more kissed by heat. I placed the hanging basket by our green yard waste container to dump

it in later in the week (why I didn't do it then, I'm not sure...)

Last Thursday I went out to put the poor thing out of its moody misery...

When all of a sudden I saw something so unexpected. Green leaves popping out of branches all over the plant. It's was sprouts of hope in the midst of obvious disaster, distress, and doom. It was the absolute LAST thing I would have ever expectedto see - actually I don't even thing I would have begun to expect to see that happen. Actually, I guess I did, because I watered it with expectation that it would come back to life, but when it didn't within two weeks, I thought for sure time was done. And then... greeeeeeeeen.

Today...it's back closer to the front porch. It's sitting on the ground, and within the path of the sprinkler system, but still in the shade most of the day...and... look at the huge green leaves sprouting out everywhere. I honestly can't believe it. I even have a first bloom that has developed. I honestly consider it nothing short of a miracle. It was literally hopeless, dead as can be, beyond help, and we had all given up any glimmer of hope that there would be a different result.

I don't know what you're facing today that seems hopeless, out of control, completely beyond rescue... but I love the picture of this plant I love being the promise that even when I can't see it God is at work doing His thing. And even if this plant had just withered even more sitting next to that container, I am confident that He was still working - I'll be honest. There are things in my life that seem impossible. Or things that I wish would work on a completely different timetable (for my sake, or for the sake of others I know). Or that things would work according to my plan and effort. Yet I'm grateful for a simple reminder of His goodness and knowing He is watching out for me...and for all of you as well. In this life I will laugh and plan and love and give and wonder and yes, I may still cry or not understand all that goes on... and I know that I don't know all of the intricacies of how He works... but I will trust and hope in Him.

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:18-22

Reality...really??

Today the reality of my world clashed in a lot of different ways. It began at church this am singing a song that is one of my absolute favs - and I sing along louder than I usually sing because, well, I love the song (and the One I'm singing about and to...). Then I hit a line that just rips a hole in my heart - and brings to light a reality that I knew was there, but not really wanting to think about... Then during the sermon, Josh shares one of those verses that's so easy to kinda pass by - hmmm...how can I set this up in something that won't make this a gazillion words long. It's a story found in Numbers 13 - where the Israelites send 12 guys into the Promised Land to check out the route they should take (not if they should enter the land, but the way they should get there) - when they return to report to the leaders that chose and sent them, most of them were freaked out by what they saw - people who were HUGE in comparison to them, with cities that were fortified beyond anything they'd imagined (basically). Then the verse that hit me - Numbers 13:33 - "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them." Yeah, would you really sit and ponder that verse?? Maybe, maybe not. Me, well, I haven't yet --- til today.

How much time do we spend creating worlds of belief about ourselves - focusing on shortcomings, failures, insecurities, phantom images of ourselves we think we should live up to. I mean really - what are those things about yourself that you have created as a reality, that are anything but true --- but you allow that alternate reality to take up space in your heart, your mind and your life. And it becomes so real that you really have to figure out how for that not to be a part of your world. Like you have this new enemy that you wrestle saying day by day, if not minute by minute --- I'm not listening to that voice - I'm not receiving that as truth about me. Whether it's something we embrace as our own or, speaking from a spiritual worldview, something not of God whispers it deceivingly to you or plants that seed in your mind that you begin to question... That's the case of this verse - the Israelites were not embracing that the One True God had led them directly to this moment, to this place, to this time because this land was theirs for the taking - but the embraced the belief that they weren't brought there by Him, and that they couldn't possibly be able to accept that which God had for them...the Promised Land...

Hold that thought...

This afternoon Steve & I were able to go see a movie --- yeah!!! An impromptu afternoon date!!!! YEAH!!! (actually it was thanks to the Williams who took the kiddos to Portland to celebrate their kids birthdays...) Anyway --- I'm really gonna try not to give away too much about the movie for those who still plan to see it, but we saw Inception. Good flick! I felt like going into it that it would have a Matrix-like affect on me. That movie so grasped my brain that I literally prayed myself out of the movie as I walked out of the movie theater when I first saw it. I didn't have to do that today, but it did begin a big conversation on the way home about what was real, not real, about reality & perception of reality, what worldview or lack of worldview is spoken, etc. Now, as I've said many a time before, Steve is a great critical thinker - digging into every single not obvious message --- me, the simple faith in Jesus girl came away with a different take.

OKAY...THIS MAY BE A LITTLE SPOILER-ISH - IT'S VAGUE BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU FAIR WARNING THAT IF YOU WANT TO BE COMPLETELY SURPRISED WITHOUT A HIT OF WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT THEN SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH...If you're reading this line it means that you are ok with a vague glimpse about what the movie plot possesses. To me, the "real reality" of this movie is the plot that really came across as the background plot (but was the actual plot) --- what is real? What is reality? What is the reality that I need to not just know but believe... that together with --- what is the thing so locked up in my past that it keeps me from facing reality, that keeps me trapped in the past or in unreality.

OKAY...YOU CAN ALL READ HERE AND NOW... Hollywood and media as a whole has the ability of using its medium to say here's the reality you should be striving for - a more perfect picture of yourself, more stuff, a "reality" different than that which you currently live in. You rarely see people living whole, satisfied, content lives...and willing to embrace those circumstances. It happens occasionally, but again I feel like its a subplot to a big story - and yet, time and time again that story is the ultimate real message of the story --- what's the truth??

So... I could go on and on and on about this...and on some more... but let me clearly state the reality of this --- I don't know what it is you tell yourself about your circumstances or about yourself that is holding you back --- but don't believe it any more. You are not a grasshopper in your eyes. You were created in the image of God Himself --- He has uniquely gifted you and woven you together in such a way that you can do amazing things. You are important. You are needed. You are loved. You are not required any longer to live in the shadow of what is trying to steal that which He has given you.

What was the message God gave to the Israelites when they prepared to enter the Promised Land??

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:6-9)

Be strong and courageous...because He gives you the ability to do that as you trust Him...

22 years ago...

Twenty-two years ago this month (July 1988) I met Steve. I was a 21 year old girl from Atlanta who'd never been to Chicago before...I got off of the plane with two other girls from Atlanta on an adventure we weren't expecting - we were headed to Summer Institute of Evangelism, hosted by Youth for Christ, at Rockford College. We got to Chicago on Saturday night. We went to Hard Rock Cafe and stayed in a very questionable hotel, that in retrospect still makes me cringe.

Sunday we headed off to Rockford. We arrived mid-afternoon. Summer Institute was actually a two-week training, but we were only able to go for one week (we had a trip with our students in Jekyll Island) during the first week. So, when we arrived at Rockford College on Sunday afternoon, the majority of the SI class that summer had already been there for a week, and Sunday was the "day-off". We were directed to where our dorms were, and told that a small group of people had hung around campus for the day and were playing volleyball... so we dropped off our stuff to our rooms, and headed off to the volleyball court.

Now...make note: if you know me at all you know I'm not good at sports. I love sports - but I'm so much not the participant kind of person. I have the best of intentions and most honestly, I wish I could say I was good at some sport. But I'm not. I can't throw a football, or barely a frisbee. I'm not a runner. Tennis is not my game...actually now that I think about it - I was pretty decent at racquetball --- it didn't matter where I hit the ball so much because it could bounce off the walls and still be "in". (OK, tangent...reign it in Michelle...) All that to say - I stunk (and still stink) at volleyball as well.

We walk towards the volleyball court (outdoor) and literally I stop in my tracks. Not out of fear, not because I forgot something. I turned to the girls and said (seriously I said this exact thing)... "That's the most incredible specimen of the entire male species on the face of the earth and I'm going to marry him someday." And that was it. They laughed. I smiled. And then I proceeded to join in a game of volleyball that I horrendously messed up, but all the while this amazing guy encouraged me and tried his best to help me play. By the end my forearms were bruised beyond belief, and I helped in no way whatsoever. But I'd met Steve. And it was a day that changed my life forever. (July 3, 1988)

Here we are, in Salem, Oregon - and later this year we will be celebrating our 20 year anniversary. He's the bestest ever. He's truly the one God created for me to spend my life with... I know it without any doubt whatsoever.

I realized while writing my last post that most of my "new world" of Oregon doesn't know these old old stories of our life... so, you may see more of these in the future...we'll see.

Today we get to go to a wedding. I love weddings. To watch two people commit their lives to each other and celebrate God joining them together as husband and wife...and... Because inevitably at some point in the ceremony I turn and look at Steve and thank God that he's my husband...the love of my life...my lobster.

Moes... (not that Mo's...)

We love Moe's. Now, when you say that in Oregon, people say - "we love Mo's too." We're talking about two different places. Don't get me wrong - they're both good and have food we really enjoy...but Moe's (with an E) is a longtime favorite of our family.

Mo's in Oregon means yummy seafood on the coast. Most typically it means clam chowder in Lincoln City or Florence

or somewhere else. And Kaylee's mouth starts to water any time we mention heading to the coast with the high hopes that the yummy goodness that a bowl (not just a cup) is, and how she doesn't want to share with anyone else. I don't blameher. It's good. What also is good about Mo's is that typically we are with people we truly care about. It could be our family who comes to visit, or those who are like family (technically you'd call them friends), and never ever is there a dull moment or a lull in conversation (except when our mouths are full of chowder - personally, I get a cup of chowder and get the fish n' chips (halibut) - YUM!

Like I said ... don't get me wrong. Mo's is good. But more often we say,

we love Moe's (with an E). Moe's Southwest Grill. I think Moe's is as much food as it is the community that comes with it. You could say it's kinda like Chipotle (and I like Chipotle...but it's not Moe's). One

of my favorite parts of Moe's is that when you walk in the door the employees call out "Welcome to Moe's" and I honestly think they are the ones who started this now more popular tradition. I liken it to when Norm would walk into Cheers (if you can remember that one). It's like you belong. And they may not know my name, but I know theirs, and I know it's gonna be GOOD!!! If you're in Atlanta, Moe's is all over the place!! Go!!! And if you're in Oregon - we have ONE! Just one!! So GO!! It's in Wilsonville - the same exit as the Target & Costco (in the strip with Subway). I just love it. I do.

One of my favorite Noah memories is when he was about 2 and a half, and has everything to do with Moes. We had made him a fireman room for his 2nd birthday - complete with firehouse wall mural, dalmatian, fireman suit, etc. He also had one of those fireman toddler beds. He was

in his room and I went back to check on him. I quietly open the door to see him standing ON TOP of the cab of the firetruck bed brandishing a foam sword (he was loving pirate stuff then too) calling out at the top of his lungs "Welcome to Moe's...uh-oh". He thought he was caught doing something wrong. I was in such hysterics because it was so stinkin' cute...it just didn't matter. Sure, I made him get down, but for life when they say "welcome to Moes" I picture my little man so cute, small and proud standing at the top of his bed fully embracing his imagination and having the time of his life.

I can think of lots of other places that are favorite places to eat...and almost always (to the chagrin of the restaurant) it's much more about the experience than just the food. Oh Steve and I have plenty of bad restaurant experiences (almost always bad on anniversary dates, or just regular dates - it's pretty humorous), but those places that feel like home are just as much about who we've gone there with, or where we went there from, or where we were headed...in addition to the food.

So, add to the list (as crazy as it will sound to some of you) - Chick-fil-A!! (OK, the food there is fab too!), Waffle House, The Lime Inn (amazing food), and of course... Moes! What food place brings out great memories for you??

In honor of...

I'm still grateful today... and I've been singing a different song a good bit of the day... It's not necessarily the most current, or the most slick, and it's probably even a little a hokey, ok, probably a lot... I just am grateful... So to all my friends out there --- thanks for all the things you do, big and small, the incredibly significant or seemingly insignificant, for deep talks and passing chats, for listening and laughing, for all of what we've done, experienced and lived together ... My world is totally different and amazing because of each of you ---

...and Steve, you're the tip-top of that list!! love you lobster!!!

Just grateful...

Today was a hectic day for many reasons...and at different times today God brought just the right person along my path to say just the right thing to get me through the moment...or even bring me a Coke and a smile. (Thanks friend!) It was a day God knew exactly what I'd need, and when I'd need it. It's actually like that every day...I just can so easily slide through and not realize it. That's not to say the day was terrible, or to say it was fabulous... I'm just saying there's a grand holy unbelievably amazing God who is watching out for me...and for you. On those days when it may not feel like it, remember the days that it does. Today was one of those days.

Several songs have been playing through my head today: Blessed Be Your Name, Lord You are Good, Surrender (it's old school, can't even find it online), Beautiful Things, You are Stronger, Disappear (by Out of the Gray...one of my favs!!) ... just to name a few...

What song helps get you through the day? The good and the bad days... I'd love to know...

Whatcha reading??

I like to read. I remember about a year ago saying I wanted to read more. Little did I know how that little hope would come true. As I mentioned then I'm surrounded at work by learners --- people who just soak up written word - I haven't always been the best at it... I remember in high school finding out before summer break what the required reading was for the following year, because I knew I would never read it when I "had" to... I'd read books over the summer (in addition to the other summer reading required), then when it came time to discuss it for class I'd skim it trying to remember.

Now --- I'm reading a bunch. I admit - a bunch of it is for school. Wait - have I mentioned that anywhere?? OK - 3 steps back. I'm a student at Crown College. (Steve loves saying he's married to a co-ed!) I have not yet completed my bachelors degree, and am on schedule to finish May 2011. I've thought about finishing it a couple of times in the past, but I'm in the midst of applying for licensing with the C&MA, and one requirement is 30 hours of Bible, of which I had none, prior to last October. Now, I'm finished with a year of school, and have a 3.84 GPA, and will have my bachelors degree in Christian Ministry next spring. Classes last 5 weeks each and at times, yes, it's a challenge to get everything done. Good thing I'm a night owl!

Anyway --- one of the things I get to do is read. Going to school has really challenged me not to just take things at face value, like the topics we're discussing, but to really dig in deeper to what I'm learning about. At times, I'll be honest, I haven't necessarily loved the book we were reading so I'd go find another one on the topic to read. Balance that with reading other things for work, reading with the kiddos, and trying to read just for the fun of it...WHEW!!! (NOTE: Kaylee has been a reading machine this summer...and Noah read 3 chapters of a Magic Tree House book to himself tonight! WOW!)

OK...so what have I been reading. Here's a few that I've read in the last couple of months. (OK, it may go back to last fall). (I tried to do pics of each of these covers...and it's just not looking like I want... so, here's a list instead... in no particular order!)

Same Kind of Different as Me, Denver Moore and Ron Hall

66 Love Letters, Dr. Larry Crabb

Axiom, Bill Hybels

Gifted to Lead, Nancy Beach

Crazy Love, Francis Chan

Forgotten God, Francis Chan

Just Walk Across the Room, Hybels

Do Hard Things, Alex & Brett Harris

Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer

Strengthfinders, Tom Rath

Church Unique, William Mancini

Living by the Book, Howard Hendricks

Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis

So Long Insecurity, Beth Moore

Lillian Trasher, and other missionary biographies

Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell (try Blink & The Tipping Point too!)

Here's a few on my list...

Radical, David Platt (just started it)

Parenting from the Pew, Castleman

Plan B

The American Church in Crisis, David T. Olson

Cold Tangerines...and Bittersweet (right Bex??)

I know I have more, but that's what I can remember... what have you read lately? What should I add to my list?? Hmmm... maybe we could have a blog off about books... maybe in 41 days... =)

40 days...starting now...

Last night at dinner, Bex came up with the idea... and before she finished the sentence I knew it... we would do it. So here we are - day 1 of 40 days of... BLOGGING!!! (I wonder what you thought I was going to say - fasting, vacationing, Phinneas & Ferb-ing (although they had 104 days of summer vacation...). Day 1 - 40 days - 1 post every day. It's the challenge - the wondering what everyone else will talk about. I needed to be "spurred on" to get this blog going. Why is it that it's so hard to get in the swing of it?? Sometimes ideas just flow and I go on and on...or I do 3 posts in one day. Can't you pre-post something to post on another day? I should do that... (OK, I'm rambling...let me move on).

I suppose if I'm thinking about 40 days, I should look back over the last 40 days - especially since I didn't blog about ANY of it. =( June 16th. The last day of school for the kids. That does make a good place to start I guess (and it's Phineas & Ferb-ish too...)

Kaylee & Noah are now in 4th & 2nd grade!! They let me know this as soon as they walked out of the school. They are such a blessing!! We've had so much fun just hanging out together --- making projects, doing experiments, playing at the park, reading, reading, reading. Kaylee has been quite a reading monkey lately!! She doesn't want to sleep at night so she can read. So adorably cute. Noah is starting to love reading too...he's got to be in the right mood for it, but he's doing great - one night I walked up the stairs to put them to bed, and Kaylee's on her bed reading...and Noah's in his room reading. I tried to take a pic, but the view just wasn't quite wide enough --- but the pic in my head is just perfect for me!

I've kept busy with church stuff too... wrapping up The Link for the year, LIFE 2010 (a week in kentucky with high school students), Youthquake (a week of middle school camp - well, I went for the afternoon/evening stuff - got to lead experiential rotations one night and speak one night too...humbling...), Give a Shirt, youth center improvements planning, new middle school resources planning... and the list goes on... I continue to learn that fine balance of life & ministry. (Of course, there are lots of people at church busier than me these days as the clock is ticking on the opening of Broadway Commons, the new community/life center opening up September 11-12. So exciting!!!)

Steve held "Camp Pathetic" while I was gone in Kentucky! He'll have to blog about this (he was there...)... but it's his week of filling his and the kids schedule with every possible thing to do close to here while I'm out of town - camping, fishing, crabbing, water parks, carousel, picnics, movies, literally 2-3 activities every day --- which when I get home and spend the day with the kids, I'm chopped liver comparatively because he's so fabulous!! I don't mean that bad AT ALL!!! I love that he builds these memories into their lives...and makes the most out of the time he embraces me and the ministry we're a part of. He's the most supportive, encouraging, amazing guy in the whole wide world. I'm so blessed to be his wife.

School came to an end for this term too. I finished my first year @ Crown (technically I guess my junior year of college) with a 3.84 gpa. Not too bad for being out of school for such a long time. Classes start back August 23 --- and I confess, the time off has been great!

Anyway - that's a whirlwind look at what has been a part of our worlds the last 40 days --- and in no way does any complete justice... I wonder what the next 40 days holds for us?? They actually are pretty significant. Visits from in-laws and a dear friend, a trip to Seattle, Youth Center renovations/improvements, the end of the Nike era, preparing for a new school & ministry year, birthday just beyond that, and lots and lots of loving on my kids and hubby. That too is just a glimpse of what's to come. He's the only one who knows all of it... OK Lord - whatever comes my way, we will do it together.

=)

(OH...if you want to follow along --- Erik, Becca, and Jeanne-Ann are all blogging... Steve is in too, but is waiting until the Nike era is over to start his 40 days... and... IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS OF WHAT YOU'D LIKE ME TO BLOG ABOUT, LET ME KNOW!!! AND... if you want to join in for the 40-day blog challenge --- be sure to give me your blog address so I can follow along!!!)

Another thing I love...

I saw this about 3 years ago for the first time...and stumbled upon it today... (looks like I'm doing that a lot lately... hmmm). Anyway --- hope you can relate to it like I do...

I hope you'll take some time...well, here, I'll make it easy. Here's a link to the story this girl shared...I hope you can relate...and will relate to the man in the story in a new way after looking at it from a new perspective... Woman at the Well...

What's the things you thought you were keeping from Him that He already knows? How is today different because you are known and loved by Him? Do you know that? Do you really? He loves you like no one else can or ever will. He knows everything there is to know about you and still loves you like no one else can or ever will. I'm so glad to be known and to be loved. How about you?

A song I love...

I was driving home today, hit shuffle on my iPhone and ta-da - a song I haven't heard in a while that somehow just draws me closer to Him and makes me smile and sing a long at the top of my lungs... and so, I don't know where your mind or heart are today. But if you want, listen in and enjoy... the youtube link has the lyrics - it's not a video per se, but someone went to the effort to put the words there for you to watch as you listen... Disappear by Out of the Grey



..."hidden in the way I was intended to be, closer to you and farther from me"...

I think I might do this more often... I know that occasionally I've dropped a song in here and there, but there is something about music that tugs at my heart, draws me close, puts words to what I don't exactly know I even want to say...